Two Envelopes –
BY RUSTY ROSMAN
We all know this to be true:
We all die.
We all mourn the passing of loved ones.
We all must deal with the details related to our loved ones’ deaths.
Those words are from the introduction to Two Envelopes: What You Want Your Loved Ones to Know When You Die, a book from my experience with many friends and loved ones who left important details unresolved. In the book, I share what I have learned in helping my parents and countless others guide their loved ones after the death of a family member. I developed a two-envelope system, which makes it easier to distinguish what you need to know immediately after your loved one dies—and all the things you need to deal with after the funeral.
When you die, there are so many things your family and loved ones immediately need to know. Did you already purchase a pre-planned funeral? Do you want to be buried or cremated? Are you a veteran? You answer these kinds of questions and put them in Envelope #1. One of the most common questions families face is: What will their loved one wear in the coffin during visitation? You may have a particular choice, but most family members are not mind readers, so you must write down what you want to wear!
“I developed a two-envelope system, which makes it easier to distinguish what you need to know immediately after your loved one dies—and all the things you need to deal with after the funeral.”
Have you married more than once in your life? Will you be buried with your first spouse or your last spouse? Many people have to deal with this question, but they do not often convey their preference to their loved ones. You need to discuss this very complex issue now.
Envelope #2 will be opened after the funeral and initial mourning. This envelope contains all of the other “stuff” your family needs to know. Which bills are on autopay? Where are your computer passwords? Who gets the grandfather clock? Who gets the special tea cup? You can also enclose a love letter to your family in this envelope.
This process does not replace a will or trust. Two Envelopes is your voice telling your family what you want them to know.
I was so grateful that Missy Buchanan, the best-selling author of many of her books on faith and aging, agreed to write the Foreword to Two Envelopes. I was especially touched when she wrote, “Two Envelopes is a uniquely personal resource, like sitting at the kitchen table with a dear friend sharing coffee and discussing hard decisions.” That’s exactly what I want readers to feel like as they read the book and complete the steps suggested in the book. I want it to be a conversation between myself and the reader. I know the Two Envelope plan will give your family a clear and concise way to recognize and honor your late-life decisions.
Most of all, Two Envelopes gives you peace of mind—and comfort to your dearest loved ones.
